Since I last posted...

Since I last posted, the following happened:

• Flew to Edmonton.
• Froze my ass off. Really, it's gone. -35C with the wind chill will freeze the ass off a little white girl like me. That's why Shakira has a full booty. Because she lives in a warm climate where booties can blossom.
• Went through Convocation at the U of A. Graduated with an astronaut who is also a musician. Both of the women who received Governor General Gold Medals enjoy playing piano. Playing piano makes you smart. Unless you play it for 6 hours straight, and then you can't count change when you go to Shopper's Drugmart.
  
• Spent time with my two cute nephews. Hilarious! You must put banana in your hair before eating it. You simply must. Also, you must streak through the house just before your bath. Especially if company is over.
  
• Funny conversation with my sisters (Jessica 8, Jocalyn 10):
  

Me: Jason lives in his head.
Jocalyn: So he's just a big head rolling around?
Me: Yes, he can go down stairs just fine by himself, but I have to help him go up, like this. (Moves hands as if pushing a whiskey barrel up stairs.)
Jessica: How would he make babies?

• Experienced minor travel adventures on the flights home. Learned about "contaminated guests" in the GP airport. Learned from a woman in a pink fuzzy track suit that if you cry and have a bad attitude, you don't get to fly to Kamloops, and you have to talk to the police.
• Got a cold, became hearing impaired for 4 days. Conversations between me and Jason: "What?" "What?"
• Paid for parking in a parkade ($5), then heard an alarm, saw smoke, discovered a car on fire, called 911, drove out of the parkade. Drove into another parkade, were told that we didn't have to buy a ticket (hooray!), missed reading the sign that said gate closes at 12:00 am, arrived at 1:05 am to find our car locked in (boo!). Walked home 17 blocks. At least it wasn't -35C.
• Query from my dear husband: "Do I have to wait for you to cook something weird for supper, or can I eat hot dogs all day?"