Do Not Drink the Water!

Is that Champagne? No, it's tap water.

From today's Vancouver Sun: (I chose the font colour to match the water.)

Boil-water Advisory Issued for the Lower Mainland

Health authorities ordered a boil-water advisory today for the entire Lower Mainland, saying torrential rains have stirred up so much sediment in Greater Vancouver’s reservoirs that tap water may be unsafe to drink.

The turbidity level -- the amount of sediment in the water -- “is the worst they’ve seen, ever,” said Vancouver Health Authority spokeswoman Viviana Zanocco.

The boil-water advisory means “you should not use your tap water for consumption, for brushing your teeth or for washing fruits and vegetables,” Zanocco said.

Residents can either use bottled water for those purposes, or boil tap water for at least a minute and then let it cool completely.

The problem is that coliform and other bacteria that may be present in the reservoirs are covered with sediment particles, possibly protecting them from the chlorine that normally kills them.

Um... Jason brushed his teeth this morning with tap water, and then I washed some vegetables for his pizza at lunchtime. oops. How were we supposed to know?

I guess the gross water in our toilet was a big hint. (I didn't take a picture of that because it's quite unpleasant.)

BC has the worst water in Canada.

Another big hint was the wind that whipped the trees around all day yesterday, and turned Jason's umbrella inside-out during his walk home from school. There were sustained winds of 100 km/h.

A lot of people don't have power, some people had to evacuate their homes because of flooding, and in a West End townhouse complex, a tree fell on the roof.

BC Hydro says this was the worst storm in two years.

And Jason says he loves storms...

UPDATE: The wind whipped its way through Grande Prairie, AB (where Jason's parents got snowed in), through Okotoks, AB (where the wind toppled semi trucks on the highway), and over the Rockies (?) to Vancouver, BC.

A Letter to my City

Dear Vancouver,

I have been living in you for three months now, and I have some questions for you.

First of all, where did you put the sun? Why haven't I seen it for days? Do you really like the colour grey so much that you cover the sky with it on a daily basis?

Why do your citizens walk so slowly? And why is grocery shopping a family affair with Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Kids, Stroller, and Cart? This doesn't seem very efficient at all.

Why can't I ever turn left? An advanced green arrow here and there wouldn't hurt. Or do you just like Zoolander so much that you think if supermodel Derek Zoolander can't turn left, then no one should be able to?

Why are annoying, untrained dogs allowed in stores? Especially that one with its self-centered owner and her Sugar Daddy. Were they Americans? Speaking of Americans, can you please inform all drivers crossing the border that it is mandatory to use signal lights because Canadians cannot read Americans' minds. (Obviously, because they voted for that President not once, but twice!)

Why do you have a Starbucks on every single block, and sometimes two on the same block? Are you drugging your citizens into quiet submission, so that when an Alien Spaceship lands with that Mermaid plastered on the side, we won't be scared, we'll just stand in line to get an Espresso Enema? And it's not even good espresso.

Now, I must commend you on the beautiful plants and trees that are still green, and flowers that are still blooming. I also appreciate the relationship you have with The Ocean. She certainly is your "Better Half." She's like Brittney Spears, and you're like K-Fed, so don't mess it up like he did. However, I believe you are not a talentless city, and there is hope for you two to live together happily for many years. That is, until you make her mad, and she goes all Tsunami on your ass.

Thank-you for considering my questions. I would like some answers at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,
Bonnie M.
(Somewhat displaced and disgruntled... but only somewhat.)

Spreken zie deutsch?

Even if the answer is "Nein," you'll still enjoy this site full of practical solutions and reinventions.

Yes, that's a kitchen sponge. Brilliant!

Number 06 puzzled me, so I used the Google translator:
"Fly gossips at Velohelm screw. Helmet put on. Never swallow more insects."

Oh, for motorcycling! Now I know what to make Bud and Blake and Sono for Christmas presents! (Weihnachtsgeschenke)
Whoa, that was lame -- referring to riding a motorbike as 'motorcycling.' (Motorradfahren)

I don't know which reinvention is my favourite. I certainly laughed the most at Number 19.

I really like German. I like saying German words because it brings out an assertive side of me.

Nicht auf mir sitzen!

Maybe I shouldn't learn German from Rammstein.