Surprise!

Last weekend, I went to Devon for my dad's surprise 50th birthday party. He was surprised! He was especially shocked that I lied to him. I do value honesty and integrity, but when there is a surprise in the works, deviousness must be devised. Of course, I have never lied to my father before in my entire life. [Ahem.]

Benson is lots of fun. He'll be 2 in May. He is already quite the little athlete. He can play hockey (excellent stick-handling), and he has quite an arm on him. He and Grizzly (the dog) also play football. Grizzly tackled Benson, but Benson held his ground. I doubt he'll play baseball, though, because he had his first taste of chewing tobacco on Sunday, and he didn't like it.

Dolores heard Benson say, "caca," and then saw him spit, but she couldn't figure out what he had put in his mouth. She had recently cleaned up after the party, and couldn't think of anything that was left lying around. Meanwhile, my brother and I were watching funny videos on the computer upstairs, and Benson came quietly into the room and stood quietly between us, watching the screen. After a while, I looked over at him and his little cheeks were puffed out, and then he opened his little mouth, and drool poured out like a fountain. I thought, "Uh oh, this kid is retarded and he doesn't swallow his spit when he watches TV." Then I laughed at him. I'm a mean aunt. He just kept drooling all afternoon and he refused to swallow. After he returned to normal, he went behind the couch and said "caca" again. Dolores found a plug of chewing tobacco, and the mystery was solved. The man in the jeans and yellow t-shirt behind me in the picture had slept on the couch after the party and the snuff must have fallen out of his pocket? Benson had seen his grandma's cousin's husband use it before, so he knew exactly what to do!

Oh, these life lessons. When I was about 5 or 6, I learned that chewing tobacco smells like heaven, but tastes like hell.

Are You Wearing GREEN?

Everyone's Irish on St. Patty's Day!

Things to do Today:

• Add a "Mc" to your last name.
• Watch The Boondock Saints.
  
• Enjoy some Guinness (if you can stomach it), or Bailey's, or Bushmills ... or mix them all up like a true Irishman, which will certainly enhance your fake Irish accent.

Cheers!

Not Fun

Hangman was fun.

Do you know what is not fun?

• An irritating cold that has turned me into a snot factory with malfunctioning mass airflow and oxygen sensors.
• Casino Royale's disjointed story line. What? What?
  
• Looking up the Post Office hours on their website, walking four blocks uphill in the dark to the PO, and then finding out that they are closed.
  
• Ordering the cutest shoes off of eBay, only to realize that I really should have ordered a size 8.I tried them on and looked the hub straight in the eye for the first time since our wedding. Then three of my five toes started screaming at me. -=sigh=- I guess it wasn't meant to be. They wouldn't have matched the new dress code at work which is limited to "VW corporate colours" which are grey, black, blue, and yellow. Sounds boring, doesn't it? -=Sigh=- again.

Funny Conversations

Jason and I went to NCIX to buy him a new power supply because his went 'pop' this afternoon and made Jason swear and say, "Can you smell that?" NCIX was a very small store and we had to line up and there were signs that read "Please take a number."

An annoying loud-talker came in and started talking to the poor guy in line in front of her. "How long have you been using computers?" "What kind of computer do you have?" Etcetera. The phone kept ringing and no one answered it, and she kept talking incessantly and loudly. I almost went to wait in the car. She finally got to the sales assistant's desk, and had to fill in the silence by asking him about the art on the wall.

Annoying Loud Lady: Is that a famous painting? On the wall? By a famous Chinese artist?
Mandarin Sales Associate: I have no idear. Could be Chinese, or Japanese, I don't know. It's a bird in a chee, that's it.

I started to laugh while looking at my shoes, and so did the poor guy she had accosted earlier. Then another funny conversation:
Sales Associate: Can I help who's next?
Customer: How come the number up there doesn't change? I got a number and it doesn't go up! It stays on 88!
SA: We don't use the numbers, you have to stand in line.
C: I didn't stand in line because the signs say "take a number."
SA: Who was here before you?
C: I don't know!

Then another funny conversation when we got home:
Me: Jason, do you ever say stupid stuff when you're talking to beautiful women?
Jason: Yeah, all the time. That's why I married you -- I wanted to have intelligent conversations.


Keep guessing for Hangman. I don't think anyone will get hanged. That reminds me of a song lyric: "In the club, where nooses still have uses."

Hangman

W H A T    I S    M O Z A R T    D O I N G

R I G H T    N O W?

D E C O M P O S I N G. 

Go ahead, guess a letter, or 26... unless you're afraid of getting hanged.

CONGRATULATIONS Zak and D Lo for solving the puzzle!