bon adventures

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-12T19:15:00.000-08:00

Here's a card I made for an origami card challenge from Papertrey while listening to Gershwin's Rhapsody and Blue. Gershwin and origami, who knew?

The outside hearts were made following these directions, and I decided I didn't like the split in the middle, so I found directions for a diagonal heart, which I used for the middle three.

However, since the romantic heart is said to represent bosoms and/or butts, there really should be a split in the middle...

Omega-3

2009-04-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

www.marriedtothesea.com

Photo Mosaic

2008-06-28T21:03:00.000-07:00

I tried something silly today while Jason was having a siesta.

The idea is to type your answers to 12 questions in the Flickr search and then choose one of the pictures on the first page of search results to create a mosaic using Big Huge Lab's Mosaic Maker.

Here are the questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favourite food? Right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favourite colour?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favourite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favourite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your flickr name?

I felt like I was in Grade 3 answering the questions, or maybe like someone looking for love on one of those matchmaker websites, but it was fun enough. It was a bit heavy on the food questions. My favourite picture is #11. The word I used to describe myself was "funny."

I found this while reading Schmutzie's blog. She is doing a project where she writes everyday for a year about different people she has met throughout her life. It's quite interesting and somewhat poetic. I don't think I have even met 365 people.

1. Bonnie and Clyde, 2. Sushi, 3. Grande Prairie, 4. Blue ice cave at the Jostedalsbreen glacier, 5. Zooey Deschanel, 6. Margharita-o-clock, 7. Best of Holland, 8. coffee and chocolate mousse cake, 9. The Piano Teacher, 10. Study Hall in the Cathedral of Learning -- a 4x5 Pinhole Photograph, 11. Funny Sign, 12. Bright

Time Flies

2008-06-14T16:35:00.000-07:00

I would like to change the old adage: "Time flies when you're stuck in a repetitive job where every day seems like Monday and your weekends are filled with rain."

The sun is finally shining today, though, and I would like to try hang-gliding. Here's a great commercial that made me go "aw," and then "ew," and then "gasp!" Ornithophobes, beware!

The emu (or whatever it is) totally freaked me out. There is nothing more frightening than a bird that is bigger than me! (Excluding Big Bird, of course.)

March 29

2008-03-29T16:30:00.000-07:00

The reason I didn't go to Granville Island today.

Animals are Funny. Except Ostriches. They Suck.

2008-03-21T16:06:00.000-07:00

The chimp in the Japanese video made me laugh and laugh. I often quote the cat.

Good Things

2008-03-13T18:38:00.000-07:00

Here are some good (indoor) things I have been enjoying lately since the weather here alternates between grey and cold. I know if you live in Alberta, you're scoffing at me saying that Vancouver is cold right now, but the wind I felt today is just as cold as the cold wind on the other side of the Rockies.

Recommended movies:
Juno
If you haven't watched it yet, what are you waiting for? My favourite part is the hamburger phone. A funny, heart-warming story.

Lars and the Real Girl
Ryan Gosling is amazing in this movie. He twitches, blinks hard, and holds his breath until his face turns red, wearing ugly sweater after ugly sweater. It all adds up to a level of acting beyond anything I've seen before. (Yes, it's that good.) The story is set in a small town not unlike the one I grew up in. There are Northern Reflections sweatshirts in it! A horse-head sweater-vest made me gasp.

Check out this paper art:
Su Blackwell is an artist from the UK. I love the simplicity/complexity of cut paper art. The media is simple, paper + scissors + glue, and the results are intricate and elegant. This is my favourite work of hers. Also check out the stop motion animation TV commercial. It's pretty amazing.

Tord Boontje is a Dutch designer based out of France. The Winter Wonderland installation is absolutely enchanting. (Click on Installations, then Winter Wonderland)

Music:
Ash Grunwald is an Aussie surfer who plays the blues. I was reading the paper one day at lunch, and I saw a picture of him swinging his dreadlocks, sitting on a box, playing a guitar. His show was $8. That was the best eight dollars I have ever spent! His energetic pre-war Delta blues has a thumping bass and infectious guitar grooves that just keep rolling.

That should help tide you over until spring. It's cheaper than a tropical vacation. (Right, Simon and Mark, and Sarah, and Bud, and Sandy? I'm not jealous. I'm too white for the tropics.)

The crocuses were here, but now they're gone.

Doppelgangers

2008-02-24T19:06:00.000-08:00

Are Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men)
and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Grey's Anatomy/Supernatural)
actually the same person?

Discuss over tea and crumpets.

Allrecipes

2008-01-18T18:48:00.000-08:00

Allrecipes is the site I use the most when looking for new recipes because of the reviews. If a recipe isn't good, a reviewer will say so. If a recipe is pretty good, but someone made it better by adding more ingredients, baking something longer, etc., this sage advice is written in the reviews so I can also make these adjustments and benefit from a tastier meal. Most reviews are pretty straight forward and written in plain English. Most of the time "definitely" is spelled wrong.

Tonight, I discovered the strangest review I have ever seen in my many years of trolling through recipe sites:

"Pray to the godhead of corn and let your tentacles bask in its neon light."

I don't know if I want my tentacles to bask... should I make this Cajun Style Corn Soup and run the risk of meeting the godhead of corn? And why is the light neon? It's not a haiku. I don't get it.

After reading the following review, I knew these were the cookies I should make for Andrew's birthday:

"My daughter (2.5yrs) loved them so much she stole a fourth cookie after I told her to wait until later to have another and refused to give it up and totally mashed it in her hand as I tried to take it away. Then she tried to eat the crumbs off the floor..."

The cookies were super good. Andrew said he ate 18 at once. That sounds like a happy birthday.

Weather is a Factor

2008-01-13T16:35:00.001-08:00

The last two months have either been incredibly boring, or incredibly busy and exciting, both options yielding the same result: no blogging from me. I apologize. I have not made a New Year’s Resolution (or, as my sister called it, a “New Year’s Revolution”) to blog more. I’ve posted about that before. Anyway, Happy 2008! I hope you had an enjoyable Christmas season. Are you now fighting the January blues? I mean, what is there to look forward to now? Wow… I need some vitamin D.

I had a wonderful two weeks off to celebrate Christmas in Alberta, and we got to see all of our three families. There was a lot of visiting, hanging out, relaxing, skating, and snow. We managed to eat four turkey dinners, and turkey sandwiches in the days between. There was actually a lot of crazy stuff that happened over the holiday, but it was all kind of bad with leukemia, death, depression, temper tantrums, bad-mannered boyfriends, and a broken knee thrown in for good measure. There were also lots of laughs, good movies, friendly faces, fires, and card games.

It was so good to be back. It was so cold, it was thrilling! There, the weather is an adversary, and you literally try to run away from the cold and get indoors before it seeps into the bone. We parked a block and a half away from our friend Mark’s apartment, and started walking towards his front door. After about 10 steps, we retreated back to the car to try to find a closer parking spot. Jeff further tortured us by not letting us in immediately after we buzzed. “It’s cold here, isn’t it?” he said while we did the cold feet shuffle, panting, eagerly anticipating the warmth of the indoors with every stiff fiber of our being.

I have this notion that when choosing a winter coat, an Albertan will say, “I don’t care what colour it is, is it warm?” whereas a Vancouverite will say, “I don’t care how warm it is, is it a current recognizable designer label?”

In Grande Prairie, someone discovered a dead coyote near a road, obviously road kill. Since in Grande Prairie you make your own fun, these people proceeded to prop it up on a bus bench, sitting up, with its head leaning against the back with its tongue hanging out, and its tail hanging down. That is Alberta: rough, and not afraid to touch a carcass.

I have been reading “The Garneau Block,” a novel Jason gave me for Christmas, which has even further enhanced my feelings of nostalgia towards Edmonton, and Albertan life in general. It is a work of fiction about a University neighbourhood in Edmonton, and all of the landmarks and settings are real. It is about residents of the block who plan to convert one of their houses into a museum in the shape of a giant buffalo head, symbolic of how we destroyed the nature that could have sustained us, symbolic of the rural/urban dichotomy, and how we are searching for Mythic Power. Uh, yeah, right. (I think the author shares my opinion on this – it’s a comedy.) It's not the best book I've ever read, but it is really reminding me of Edmonton, and it describes things about the city that I always understood, but had never put into words. I especially like how the author not only describes the sights of the city, he also describes the smells, and it makes me feel powerfully connected to the story simply because I have lived there, and, I must admit, I miss living there (well, the summers, at least). One of my favourite conversations in the book is between a husband and wife shopping for a hybrid:

“Sweetheart, if we buy a Japanese car we’ll just make elitists of ourselves, alienate our own people, drive them to Hemis.”
“David, please, we don’t have a people. We’re Canadians.”

I often think about Canadian culture, and what it is. To me, it is pretty much indefinable. Maybe it can be defined by the 2010 Olympic mascots?

Amidst all of these warm fuzzies for my former home, I have a confession. Vancouver weather is absolutely lovely. After spending two weeks hiding from the cold, we came home to Vancouver and went for an evening stroll around English Bay without jackets because it was + 9. The lights of North Van are beautiful at night when they reflect off of the ocean. Here, my back muscles do not tense when I step outside, my snot does not freeze and send icicles shooting down my throat, my thighs do not burn from the cold, my earrings don’t freeze, and my glasses do not fog up.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

2007-11-12T15:37:00.000-08:00

Following are a couple of links for brilliant TV ads. It’s amazing what people can do when they all get together to work towards a common goal, and when their creativity is fueled by copiou$ amount$ of ca$h.

This ad for the Sony Bravia is the most amazing, and it features “70 000 litres of paint exploding on a disused council block in Glasgow. The ad, created by Fallon, required 1 700 detonators, 455 mortars, 622 bottle bombs, 65 camera positions and a crew of 200 people.” -- Mark Sweney for MediaGuardian.

There are other amazing, colourful commercials for the Bravia made with thread, plasticine bunnies, and bouncy balls. Bravia’s site has a movie on the making of the bunny ad, which is absolutely fascinating.

The Volkswagen Phaeton is advertised by an enchanting hand-made shadow-play.

OK Go is a band that is not too cool to have fun. They have made a video of a dance routine choreographed on a series of treadmills, one with everyone and everything covered in opulent wallpaper, and one of stuff blowing up, which would have been more fun to make than it is to watch. If OK Go ever comes to Vancouver, I will be buying tickets.

Are there any movies that you have seen that make you believe that there is something new under the sun, and wonder still exists?

Pictures at an October Exhibition

2007-10-27T11:21:00.000-07:00

Check out these cool pictures of ghosts by William Hundley: people jumping, totally engulfed in fabric.

I would love to try it myself. I'll post the picture if I'm successful. I've got a white sheet around here somewhere...

I discovered these photos through photojojo, which is the best newsletter I receive. It's short and sweet, and has inspired some of the pictures I have posted on flickr (the jumping ones, in particular). I recommend it to anyone who owns a camera.

The ladies at 3191 have posted a fabulous photo pair that epitomizes October. So does this one. I love the element of chance in their art (they do not coordinate or plan their photos).

This is a picture I took of a spider web in the roots of a log at the beach:

Happy picture taking!

Things I have learned that you should also know.

2007-10-05T00:31:00.000-07:00

Buy your gas from different companies.

Different companies put different detergents in their gasoline, which clean different parts of your engine. If you always go to one gas station, parts of your engine aren’t getting cleaned. They are getting neglected. Like your feet in the shower. Wash those, too: don’t just assume the soap will flow down and clean them. Say no to Petro Points.

Avoid using your park brake after city driving

City driving requires a lot of stopping, which heats up the brake pads. (Friction = heat. Remember rug burns?) Applying the park brake to hot, somewhat pliable brake pads will warp and/or score them, which will be bad news. Shaky brakies. Shakin’ that Ass is usually a good thing, but not when it’s your car’s ass. The Junk in the Trunk, I mean. Wait… no, that’s not it. Save the shakin’ for the disco, kids!

That’s it. I guess there are only two things. If you want to know anything else about anything else, you’ll have to look elsewhere. I suggest going to Wikipedia to learn about the Turducken just in time for Thanksgiving. Have a good one!

A return to myself

2007-09-13T09:33:00.001-07:00

Sunset, Sept 10 - B, originally uploaded by Bonnie Louise.

SEAttle

2007-09-10T17:53:00.000-07:00

Split, by Roxy Paine.
Polished stainless steel.
My most favourite sculpture ever.

On Saturday, Jason and I went to Seattle for the day to visit some friends who had flown in from Tokyo. Jeff, Geoff, Ian, and Darcy went to Seoul for Lindsay's wedding (which included a white grand piano and smoke like in a magic show... *poof* You're married!). Obviously, Jason and I would have loved to have gone to Korea and Japan also, but those countries are not within driving distance, so we settled on Seattle.

We parked the car at the hotel, which is in downtown Seattle, and then wandered around on foot, taking in the Space Needle, the Experience Music Project, and the Olympic Sculpture Park, and Pike Market (which was closed). Jason thought I had packed the camera, and I thought he had put it in his pocket, so we were (very unfortunately) sans camera! I kept saying, "I wish I had a camera!" Jason took some pictures with his camera phone, but it's just not the same.

Crossing the border into the states took us about an hour and a half, and there were no bathroom facilities. I was very tempted to visit the ditch, but there was very little cover. Our wait in the car was perfumed by silage from the nearby dairy farms: not a pleasant smell, but it was nice to be in the country. We were not at all impressed by the I-5. It was one of the worst highways we've ever traveled: cement adhering the gravel together. It took us about 4 hours to make our way down to Seattle, but only 2 hours to drive back during the night. We might cross the border again in the winter to spend a day or two snowboarding at Mt. Baker. All of the chocolate packages are different in the US (Reese, KitKat, etc.), which I did not appreciate. The KitKat logo is classic, and you just don't mess with a classic!

I'm glad I don't live on the underside of the 49. The stores advertising a "large selection of guns for sale" shocked me like a kick to the stomach.

Railtown Street Jam

2007-08-13T09:27:00.001-07:00

Sliding rails in Railtown on a somewhat sunny Sunday afternoon.

The hub and I went to watch some snowboarding in the middle of summer. It was cool until they ran out of snow. It was neat to see the trains going by in the background. The competition was for $1000 cash, but there was a tie for first place, so the winnings were cut in half. A most unpleasant sound is that of the snowboard edges trying to stop on the pavement. I got a sunburn. Birds pooped all over our car. Besides that, and the constant gansta rap, it was an enjoyable afternoon.

On Friday, I took Kelli to the Chinese garden to see the Vancouver Piano Ensemble play works for two pianos, eight hands. The concert finale was the final two movements Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, which was a huge, exciting tsunami of sound! Another highlight was Alexander Glazunov's The Forest, a piece I hadn't heard before. Prior to the concert, we strolled along the small Chinese night market and got some cheap food. My supper cost two dollars: $1 curry fish balls (which would disgust Jason to the nth degree) + $1 steamed pork bun (which would have tasted even better if I had removed the paper prior to eating it).

Grocery Shopping with Will & without Grace

2007-07-31T22:07:00.000-07:00

Can you infer from the title of this post who I saw at the grocery store this evening?

If you guessed Eric McCormack from "Will & Grace," then you are correct. You get a gold star. (In fact, I think I deserve ten gold stars for my clever post title. It may be the cleverest ever.)

I saw him out of the corner of my eye, did a double take, we made eye contact, and when he saw the flash of recognition in my eyes, he ran away down the frozen food aisle. I wanted to yell, "An army of frozen peas cannot protect you, Mr. Will! ...And the show should've been called Karen & Jack!"

So, let's see... that brings my celebrity sightings tally up to SEVEN (or eight, if we want to include Mr. Dressup):

1. Kari Matchett, the beautiful platinum blond from "Invasion." Spotted in the Calgary International airport.

2. Christopher Lloyd (Doc from Back to the Future). Spotted on Burrard. Well, maybe it was him.

3. Kurt Russel from lots of movies. Gotta love the feathered hair! Spotted near Robson while I was eating at Fogg & Sudds. Hooray for 2nd floor window seats!

4. Brent Butt, the mastermind behind "Corner Gas" brought his Vdub in for service one day.

5. Kristen Krueck (Lana from "Smallville"). I touched her hand while handing her her car keys at work. sigh.

6. French Canadian TV actress with curly auburn hair. She's been in many TV shows, but I can't think of any right now. Spotted crossing the street in front of my apartment last night.

7. Eric McCormack. Spotted at Safeway sporting shifty eyes and a sense of urgency. Was his car the sporty BMW convertible in the parking lot? He's here filming The Andromeda Strain.

Fireworks Competition - Spain

2007-07-25T23:08:00.000-07:00

Throngs of people leaving the beach after the fireworks.
The throng will undoubtedly be larger on Saturday.

I FREAKIN' LOVE THE FIREWORKS COMPETITION!

You know the fireworks you saw as a kid on Canada day in Your Home Town? Well, these fireworks literally blow those out of the water! It's sort of like eating gourmet chocolate, and never being able to eat another chocolate Easter bunny again.

For this competition, there are three layers of explosions choreographed to music: ones that shoot from the barge on the water, explosions above them, and sky-high explosions above that. I would have never guessed that Enya + fireworks could be so spellbinding. The fireworks looked like champagne cascading and dancing slowly and seductively to "Who can say where the road goes, where the day flows? Only time." There were also fireworks that sparkled long after the initial explosion, and it looked like angels taking flash photography. Jason called me "so lame" after I said that, but I don't care, it looked really cool. The finale was like an orgasm for the eyes: all the big fireworks in all the colors, exploding one after the other in rapid succession. Did I experience the sublime?* Yes, I believe I did.

*My favorite explanation of the sublime is when you perceive something that appears to be endless, but your logic disagrees with your perception, saying "this cannot be endless, that is impossible," and the conflict between what you perceive and what you know causes you to stop dead and maybe, if you're lucky, you get an adrenaline rush.

Yaletown Sidewalk Party

2007-07-22T12:38:00.000-07:00

The BMX demo was by far the coolest thing in Yaletown yesterday. The best part of this back flip pic is the expressions on the people's faces in the background. The Chinese man and his mom [to the right of the host in the orange shorts] have the best "wow!" expressions. The woman in the denim jacket with the extra large purse [in front of the yellow car] looks angry, and unimpressed. This is the shape of her mouth ;----;

Visualize This

2007-07-17T23:38:00.000-07:00

For this post, you must use the power of your imagination. Dust it off, it will appreciate the exercise.

I work on Main Street in Vancouver, which is home to many antique shops, small restaurants, and, of most relevance for this post, cheap apartments. As you can imagine (see I told you you would need it), I see many colourful characters in this area. It certainly helps to lighten my day when I see people who have either no sense of fashion, no sense of shame, or both, leave their cheap apartments to wear their unique ensembles out into the light of day.

Picture the following:
#1. An older man with male pattern baldness, long, flowing white hair, wearing a white polo shirt, small white tennis shorts, white knee-high socks, white tennis shoes, riding a white bike.

#2. A woman in her early 30's wearing light pink pajamas (button-up shirt and pants), sporting a really high side ponytail (think Punky Brewster), wearing black runners.

#3. A man in his early 50's wearing a sweatshirt of an odd colour green, riding his bike around a corner at an odd rate of speed. Upon taking a second look, I realized the man had a parrot on his shoulder. I must have missed seeing the (evil) bird the first time because it was camouflaged with the man's shirt!

#4. A man in his 70's riding a red motorized wheelchair/scooter, dressed completely in camouflage, pulling a small covered wagon that was also covered in camouflage!

#5. A Main Street regular: a woman who bears a shocking resemblance to Dee Snider from Twisted Sister. I can see her make-up from across the street.

These people make me glad to have large windows at work. When things are hitting the fan, I can always look out the window and get a good giggle.

Long Weekend Culture

2007-07-03T09:49:00.000-07:00

ACT I:
Bonnie and Jason are sitting on their small couch on Canada Day. Jason is listening to the Bloodhound Gang and reading The Witchblade Compendium, Vol. I.

Bonnie: You know, you could be listening to Mozart and reading War & Peace right now.
[pause]
Jason: How do you know that this isn't the Mozart and the War & Peace of my generation?
Bonnie: [sigh]

Two Touaregs & Superman's Ex-Girlfriend

2007-06-27T23:09:00.000-07:00

"Dead Touareg Rolling"
directed by
Bonnie Coppola-Scorsese

We had two Touaregs come in to work, imported from Germany. They needed to have their airbags disabled. Why? Because one is going to be blown up, and one is going to be dropped off a cliff in the upcoming Far Cry movie. The one that will be blown up has a hole in the gas tank. These trucks were hundred$ of thousand$ of dollar$. One was a W12 (has two V6's), which can accelerate zero to 100 km/h in 5.9 seconds.

They are flat black, and dead sexy. It's really too bad these bad boys couldn't live out their full, natural lives tearing up some rugged terrain (in Northern Alberta, perhaps?). "Live fast, die young" is what I always say.

Also, I got to meet Kristin Kreuk. She is short, and beautiful, and sweet. We are equally good-looking because we both have Dutch heritage and we're both Capricorns. We're basically the same person.
[sing-song voice] Hey Superman, my middle name is Louise, but you can call me Lois. [wink]

I am an Evil Person

2007-06-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

Hello Kitty knows me so well:
"You are not really sensitive about other's feeling. It's virtually impossible for you to care for others. For example, you would probably eat and drink next to a friend who is on diet, or you would share your romance with a friend who just broke up or some other insensitive things like such. Sometime, you should really stand in other's shoe and think for them, otherwise, those around you would probably think you are a 'self-centered' and evil person."

Ouch, Hello Kitty. I thought we were friends.

Everything is Connected: The Story

2007-06-18T23:06:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this story with a disclaimer: this is not the best piece of fiction ever written by Yours Truly. Also, it contains material of a graphic nature, despite it's innocent title. It is a fable of the most mediocre regard. See comments from this post for the material.

MARGITE THE PARAKEET

Margite the parakeet had discovered a secret. The worse she was, the better she looked. The meaner she was to the other birds, the shinier her feathers became.

As these matters usually go, Margite's discovery was purely accidental. She hadn't always been a mean bird. She was once sweet, considerate, and kind. Other birds would praise her lovely singing voice, and she was invited to perform at the fancy parties where the penguins catered, and the peacocks performed Baroque dances.

It was at such a party that Margite fell into her discovery, literally. She was about to go onstage when a jittery chickadee ran right in front of her, tripping Margite and scuffing her freshly preened plumage. It was in this moment of frenzy and frustration that Margite came undone. She yelled a curse word at the chickadee. Then she said some bad things about her mother.

As Margite eventually calmed down, she looked down to see that her feathers were spotless. Not only were they spotless, they shone brighter than ever. Margite thought it was odd, but she had a show to perform, so out onstage she went.

Later that night, in her dressing room, Margite noticed that her favourite cheese was missing from the cheese platter. She yelled at the penguin until he waddled away to find her some gouda. When he returned with a lovely cheese platter, Margite was not satisfied, and she demanded some nacho chips with melted cheese and guacamole made with extra-vibrant avacado. She looked in the mirror with the lights all around it, and she noticed her complexion was as clear as crystal. She had a nice rye and coke after an irish car bomb to celebrate her new-found beauty, and she slapped the flamingo bartender instead of giving him a tip.

On her way home that night, she noticed some footprints in the snow, and she promptly knocked on her neighbour's door and asked how dare he walk on her smooth, white snow and mar it with his imperfect gait. The neighbour huffed and slammed the door in her face (which she deserved), so she karate chopped his porch swing, just because. She hurried home to go look at herself again to see how much brighter her feathers gleamed.

Margite could not believe how much her eyes shone after she had insulted her neighbour and damaged his property. She immediately picked up the phone to call her boyfriend so he could come bask in her beauty. She heard his cell phone ring in the closet. To her great surprise, Jack was already home! She walked over and opened the closet door to find his corpse slumped over a pile of laundry.

Margite was horrified. She heard a noise in the kitchen, and realized that the murderer was still in the house! She started to run towards the door, but a chickadee grabbed her by the throat and whispered, "You were mean to me, and now I've been mean to you. Your boyfriend is dead because of your cruelty. I will not kill you, but I will scar you for life, so you will never be beautiful again." With that, the chickadee cut out Margite's left eye, and flew out the front door.

While in the veterinary hospital, Margite the parakeet was dreadful to the nurses, hurling insults at them every chance she got. However, her cruelty did not have the desired effect. Yes, her feathers became bright and shiny, and yes, her complexion was clear, but nothing could fix the gaping hole where her left eye had been.

She tried to play a game of barrel of monkeys, but only having one eye greatly hampered her depth perception. When she lost another $5 to the nurse she was playing against, she was not mean. She was not angry. She merely said, "Good game. Next week, let's play Pirates. I'll bring my eye-patch, and you can be the parrot that sits on my shoulder." They laughed at this joke together. Then the nurse said, would you like me to read you a story, and Margite said, yes, that would be delightful, and the nurse began, "The fireplace was still warm, and Jamie knew the owners could not be far..." and Margite drifted off to sleep because she was on a lot of morphine.

The moral of the story: you can be mean if it makes you pretty, but your boyfriend might die.

--THE END--

Martial Arts Training in Stanley Park

2007-06-03T22:41:00.000-07:00

::Karate Kid Crane Style::

::Side Kick Nature's Ass::

::Karate Chop::

::Nunchucks::

During our 10k walk around Stanley Park yesterday, I decided to do some impromptu martial arts training to keep up my Mad Karate Skillz.

I want to be the next Karate Kid. Don't lecture me about the many obstacles and glaring differences, I can do anything! Once a Big Movie Producer sees these pictures of my powerful physique, they will make a new movie starring me as Daniel LaRusso, a bullied boy who learns that there is more to Karate than violence. Vancouver is where the movie magic happens!

To facebook, or not to facebook...

2007-06-02T17:49:00.000-07:00

...that is the question.

I generally get the heebie-jeebies from that website. People could web-stalk me, and judge me by the "friends" that I have. Past lives could resurface after I had them buried so neatly, growing grass over their graves. It's a bit too Big Brother for me. Also, if the facebook community found out how awesome I am, I wouldn't be able to leave my apartment for fear of being mobbed by my (inevitable) throngs of fans.

Speaking of which, I fancy a walk. By the OCEAN & MOUNTAINS, people! Why am I surfing the 'net when I could actually be surfing?
Bye!

Tell me if you're pro or con facebook, a.k.a. crackbook.

Sunday

2007-05-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

Recipe for a lovely Sunday:

~~Ice cream, chocolate sauce, whipped cream, cherry.~~

Sleep in.
Favourite coffee.
Piano recital: Beethoven's late piano sonatas. Float in a cocoon.
Drive home along the ocean road.
Snack: root beer cookies with root beer.
Sushi.
Skateboarding!
TV.
Wine.

Sunday was one of the good ones. Although the intermission of the piano recital was unbearable, and we didn't get an encore. Why not throw in some Bagatelles, Mr. Paul Lewis? You only played three songs, after all. (That last sentence is dripping with understatement, btw.)

While skateboarding, Jason attempted to slide a rail that was not waxed. He wiped out when his board stopped moving, and he kept going (an object in motion tends to stay in motion, and all that). Somehow he managed to scrape his knuckles and gouge the palm of his right hand in one fall. How? It is a mystery. I did not wipe out. After a three year hiatus, that's pretty good.

Have you seen the turtle + cat movies at Cute Overload lately? They are très amusing. I wonder what is keeping the "kitteh" from biting off the turtle's head. One chomp and it would all be over, Raphael. So aggressive! I guess the idea of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles isn't very far-fetched after all.

There's a man in his 50s who regularly suntans on his balcony. I can see him if I look out the window. He stands with his hands on his hips with his back to the sun, then he turns 180 degrees. Like a rotisserie. Is this how he's spending his retirement? Like a chicken at Safeway?

The story is brewing. It is either about a bird or a girl in a red hood.

Everything is connected and nothing is the same.

2007-04-15T20:01:00.000-07:00

I feel the need to create. Specifically, I would like to write a short story. The problem is the blank page: no characters, no setting, no conflict, no ideas. Well, I have one idea that just might work, and it involves you.

Remember drawing a scribble, and then your friend would turn it into a picture of something? Do you also remember those stories were you would fold the piece of paper, read the last sentence, and add another sentence, then pass it on to your classmates until there was a delightfully unpredictable story?

I want to achieve something as accidental and wonderful as that. I want you to contribute something to my story. Submit a person, place, thing, action, weather, adjective, adverb, or whatever you want in the comments, and I will weave it all together in a nice, neat little short story. For most interesting results, think up your contribution before reading other comments, or don't. I don't really care. Be as imaginative or as mundane as you want. It can be a sentence, or just a word, or a string of words.

I will write our story next week. Hopefully it will be better than "Lost." (Who am I kidding? One hundred monkeys with one hundred typewriters could come up with something better than "Lost.")

[To add a comment, click the "comments" link at the bottom right of this post. Remember, you can comment anonymously.]

April 28 Update:
I need more material. It doesn't even have to be a sentence. Come on, monkeys. M Zak? Chairman Mah? LindsE? asap? Anon? Yes, I will wait until March so we can all [cue scary music] do our taxes. Do you know how to spell procrastinator? B-o-n-n-i-e.

Tetris, Anyone?

2007-04-07T15:43:00.000-07:00

Brave Space Design Tetrad Mega Shelving!

Oh, I would be such a good little hipster, if only I had the bank.

Easter Weekend

2007-04-06T12:15:00.000-07:00

I will be relaxing in the pink luxury of this long weekend. Will you?

Brilliant photo by Corey Arnold.

Elevator Sign

2007-04-02T19:10:00.000-07:00

This made me laugh all day today:

Surprise!

2007-03-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, I went to Devon for my dad's surprise 50th birthday party. He was surprised! He was especially shocked that I lied to him. I do value honesty and integrity, but when there is a surprise in the works, deviousness must be devised. Of course, I have never lied to my father before in my entire life. [Ahem.]

Benson is lots of fun. He'll be 2 in May. He is already quite the little athlete. He can play hockey (excellent stick-handling), and he has quite an arm on him. He and Grizzly (the dog) also play football. Grizzly tackled Benson, but Benson held his ground. I doubt he'll play baseball, though, because he had his first taste of chewing tobacco on Sunday, and he didn't like it.

Dolores heard Benson say, "caca," and then saw him spit, but she couldn't figure out what he had put in his mouth. She had recently cleaned up after the party, and couldn't think of anything that was left lying around. Meanwhile, my brother and I were watching funny videos on the computer upstairs, and Benson came quietly into the room and stood quietly between us, watching the screen. After a while, I looked over at him and his little cheeks were puffed out, and then he opened his little mouth, and drool poured out like a fountain. I thought, "Uh oh, this kid is retarded and he doesn't swallow his spit when he watches TV." Then I laughed at him. I'm a mean aunt. He just kept drooling all afternoon and he refused to swallow. After he returned to normal, he went behind the couch and said "caca" again. Dolores found a plug of chewing tobacco, and the mystery was solved. The man in the jeans and yellow t-shirt behind me in the picture had slept on the couch after the party and the snuff must have fallen out of his pocket? Benson had seen his grandma's cousin's husband use it before, so he knew exactly what to do!

Oh, these life lessons. When I was about 5 or 6, I learned that chewing tobacco smells like heaven, but tastes like hell.

Are You Wearing GREEN?

2007-03-17T16:59:00.000-07:00

Everyone's Irish on St. Patty's Day!

Things to do Today:

Add a "Mc" to your last name.
Watch The Boondock Saints.
Enjoy some Guinness (if you can stomach it), or Bailey's, or Bushmills ... or mix them all up like a true Irishman, which will certainly enhance your fake Irish accent.

Cheers!

Not Fun

2007-03-12T21:16:00.000-07:00

Hangman was fun.

Do you know what is not fun?

An irritating cold that has turned me into a snot factory with malfunctioning mass airflow and oxygen sensors.
Casino Royale's disjointed story line. What? What?
Looking up the Post Office hours on their website, walking four blocks uphill in the dark to the PO, and then finding out that they are closed.
Ordering the cutest shoes off of eBay, only to realize that I really should have ordered a size 8.I tried them on and looked the hub straight in the eye for the first time since our wedding. Then three of my five toes started screaming at me. -=sigh=- I guess it wasn't meant to be. They wouldn't have matched the new dress code at work which is limited to "VW corporate colours" which are grey, black, blue, and yellow. Sounds boring, doesn't it? -=Sigh=- again.

Funny Conversations

2007-03-10T18:40:00.000-08:00

Jason and I went to NCIX to buy him a new power supply because his went 'pop' this afternoon and made Jason swear and say, "Can you smell that?" NCIX was a very small store and we had to line up and there were signs that read "Please take a number."

An annoying loud-talker came in and started talking to the poor guy in line in front of her. "How long have you been using computers?" "What kind of computer do you have?" Etcetera. The phone kept ringing and no one answered it, and she kept talking incessantly and loudly. I almost went to wait in the car. She finally got to the sales assistant's desk, and had to fill in the silence by asking him about the art on the wall.

Annoying Loud Lady: Is that a famous painting? On the wall? By a famous Chinese artist?
Mandarin Sales Associate: I have no idear. Could be Chinese, or Japanese, I don't know. It's a bird in a chee, that's it.

I started to laugh while looking at my shoes, and so did the poor guy she had accosted earlier. Then another funny conversation:
Sales Associate: Can I help who's next?
Customer: How come the number up there doesn't change? I got a number and it doesn't go up! It stays on 88!
SA: We don't use the numbers, you have to stand in line.
C: I didn't stand in line because the signs say "take a number."
SA: Who was here before you?
C: I don't know!

Then another funny conversation when we got home:
Me: Jason, do you ever say stupid stuff when you're talking to beautiful women?
Jason: Yeah, all the time. That's why I married you -- I wanted to have intelligent conversations.

Keep guessing for Hangman. I don't think anyone will get hanged. That reminds me of a song lyric: "In the club, where nooses still have uses."

Hangman

2007-03-05T22:25:00.000-08:00

W H A T    I S    M O Z A R T    D O I N G

R I G H T    N O W?

D E C O M P O S I N G.

Go ahead, guess a letter, or 26... unless you're afraid of getting hanged.

CONGRATULATIONS Zak and D Lo for solving the puzzle!

Happy ♥ Day!

2007-02-14T09:18:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day, Everybody!

To get in the love-y cuddle-y mood, you can visit Cute Overload. It will make you smile. (Thanks to D Lo for telling me about this site.)

To celebrate today, I'm going to eat cinnamon hearts all day, and then watch True Romance tonight.

Have a good one! Spread the love!

xoxoxo♥♥♥xoxoxo

[Image from Living Etc, September 2003]

"Romantic Dinner"

2007-02-12T10:30:00.001-08:00

Look at the pizza J made for me!

There's a pepperoni ♥ in the middle, and a pepperoni star at the top.
♥♥♥!

Did you know...

2007-02-08T10:01:00.001-08:00

... that snakes yawn?

Likenesses

2007-02-03T18:21:00.000-08:00

This is how I wasted my Saturday morning. I couldn't resist the gaudy music background for my picture. "Jason" has been staying up all night working on his film reel while listening to Lily Allen. (I don't know what he's doing with his left hand.) You can make one too, if you have nothing better to do.

P.S. The prize was won by Melisa.

Haikus

2007-01-29T00:00:00.000-08:00

If you want to read the comments, click the "Comments" link at the bottom right of the post. Alternatively, you can click the title of the post under the "Previous Posts" heading on the sidebar on the right side of the page. This looks much prettier. After perusing the comments, you can click the link that says "Post a Comment," and you're off to the races. (Or just type in the box. You don't need to put in your web address or email address, and you can even use an alias.)

Now, you're probably wondering why I have posted a tutorial on posting comments. The reason is this: I know I have more than 3-5 friends and family members who read this blog. People are lurking and not leaving me feedback telling me how great/funny/talented I am and how they want me to be the godmother of their children and/or cats.

So leave me a comment!

Although, it's a bit like having the teacher read your secret note out to the entire class. Everyone will see it, so if you're sending me your credit card number, please call me at 1-555-BON-BONS and I'll make sure you're maxed-out in no time!

Cheers to the lurkers.

What is that?

2007-01-25T23:05:00.000-08:00

I've decided to run a little contest.

The first person to correctly identify this gross picture in the comments will win a prize!

CONTEST RULES:
Not open to residents of Quebec, people whose first name starts with 2, or anyone who has 13 toes. The prize is good. Go ahead, take a guess!

The prize is waiting...

Andrew's Cake

2007-01-18T09:06:00.000-08:00

This cake is ridiculously funny. Even if you've never met Andrew, you would probably laugh at this cake. If you have met Andrew, who has darker skin, and no afro, and doesn't look anything like his icing portrait, this cake takes on a whole new level of hilarity.

This was the highlight of my yesterday: a ludicrous ice cream cake from DQ.

Addendum:
Andrew is a Service Advisor where I work. It was his birthday this week. One of the techs came up with the design for the cake.

So, D Lo, I didn't buy the cake just because I saw it sitting in the display case at DQ. That would have been even funnier, though.

New Year's Resolution

2007-01-08T22:11:00.000-08:00

I do not make New Year's Resolutions because I have enough guilt in my life. Mostly, I feel guilty about how lazy I am, so if I make a resolution, I'll just be lazy about it and feel guilty some more!

Instead, I have just had the brilliant idea to resolve to use more words. (Not a new idea, but a good one.) For instance, I do not use the word "pontificate" nearly enough. Also, I don't believe I've ever uttered the word "caveat" in a sentence. I had a customer explain a "trifecta" of issues with his car today. I admire the announcers on CBC radio. They talk gooder than I.

Any other words I should add to my collection this year? "Intrusion," perhaps? I'm asking the four of you who read this. Yes, you.

On a somewhat related note, my little sisters called me yesterday and told me via speaker phone: "Did you know that 'booger' and 'snot' aren't words? They're not in the dictionary!" Since I'm ever the educator, I told them to look up "mucus."

because

2007-01-06T14:11:00.000-08:00

I made a fill-in-the-blanks, multiple choice letter for my little sisters. This is what Jessica wrote. She's 8. I should make this into a large poster and put it up at work as a big reminder for everybody.

There was another gale last night! We were worried the glass would shatter again, ~~but thankfully, it did not.~~ (Some windows did break.) I fell asleep on the couch and just stayed there because it's relatively far away from the windows. I did not want to wake up to a glass shard shower. Say that ten times fast: glass shard shower glass shard shower glass shard shower glass shard shower glass shard shower glass shard shower glass shard shower glass shard shower glass shard shower glass shard shower

At work yesterday, I got a free Cactus Club lunch and the best piece of cake I have ever had! It was a tiramisu cake by Liberty Bakery. It tasted better than tiramisu. I had another piece at the end of the day. I pretended it was my birthday cake. I'm still dreaming/drooling about it. Maybe I should go to work today just for more cake. (Can you hear Homer drooling for doughnuts right now? Yeah, that's me.)

Cheery Handlebar

2007-01-01T21:23:00.000-08:00

"...because I haven't done anything for you in a long time."

Yes, the hub's handlebar makes me smile. ♥

Happy 2007, everybody!

Christmas-y Feeling...

2006-12-26T23:40:00.000-08:00

This is too wonderful. It's by Seonna Hong, and it makes me think of a fairytale childhood where the ground was covered with snow for Christmas. We would wear homemade mittens and play in the snow, and then come in afterwards for some hot chocolate with miniature marshmallows. And Santa's handwriting looked suspiciously like Mom's.

Christmas Cards

2006-12-23T00:14:00.001-08:00

This is me. I'm frantically writing Christmas cards. Jason is the cat.

The cards won't reach you before Christmas, but they should still make you smile. Enjoy the weekend before Christmas. If you're out shopping and someone is rude to you, just smile and say, "Merry Christmas!" It is really easy to be nice. It really is.

The picture is actually Ruby Gloom and her cat, Doom Kitty. There's a new cartoon on YTV and it is beautiful to look at. Candy for the eyes. And the theme song is perfect.

CRAZY STORM!!!

2006-12-15T19:27:00.001-08:00

Yes, I violated one of my pet peeves: multiple exclamation points. Normally, one exclamation point is sufficient.

Last night, the wind howled so loudly that it sounded like there were 100 jet airplanes circling our apartment. I heard stuff bumping around on our balcony, and I was worried a plastic chair was going to fly off and crash into someone's windshield, and the windows and the trees were making noises that I haven't heard before. I was uneasy, and I didn't sleep. Then, the main event:

CRASH! tinkle tinkle tinkle...

One of the glass panels on our balcony shattered! Jason bolted up from a deep sleep. We heard other windows break during the night. I think about 26 windows, patio doors, and balcony panels broke in our building. Our building is only 11 stories high. We must be in some kind of wind corridor. Some people had their bedroom window break. Imagine waking up to that nightmare.

I had to be at work at 9:00 this morning (yes, I have a day-job now). The wind knocked out power, so some stop lights weren't working, and busy (12 lane) intersections became 4-way stops. There was a collision on my normal route, so I chose to take Granville, but I heard it was blocked on 16th. When I got to 16th, I saw a gigantic evergreen that had fallen down across three lanes. I thought I was going to be late for work, but I actually arrived 10 minutes early. That was the quickest commute I've ever had! Although, it was the messiest. There were tree branches swept into piles on the side of the street. That must have been a big broom! (Sorry, I'm feeling distinctly unfunny and uncreative today.)

I am currently experiencing an audio hallucination. I "hear" two simultaneous radio stations: country & opera. Interesting.

Since I last posted...

2006-12-03T16:51:00.000-08:00

Since I last posted, the following happened:

Flew to Edmonton.
Froze my ass off. Really, it's gone. -35C with the wind chill will freeze the ass off a little white girl like me. That's why Shakira has a full booty. Because she lives in a warm climate where booties can blossom.
Went through Convocation at the U of A. Graduated with an astronaut who is also a musician. Both of the women who received Governor General Gold Medals enjoy playing piano. Playing piano makes you smart. Unless you play it for 6 hours straight, and then you can't count change when you go to Shopper's Drugmart.
Spent time with my two cute nephews. Hilarious! You must put banana in your hair before eating it. You simply must. Also, you must streak through the house just before your bath. Especially if company is over.
Funny conversation with my sisters (Jessica 8, Jocalyn 10):

Me: Jason lives in his head.
Jocalyn: So he's just a big head rolling around?
Me: Yes, he can go down stairs just fine by himself, but I have to help him go up, like this. (Moves hands as if pushing a whiskey barrel up stairs.)
Jessica: How would he make babies?

Experienced minor travel adventures on the flights home. Learned about "contaminated guests" in the GP airport. Learned from a woman in a pink fuzzy track suit that if you cry and have a bad attitude, you don't get to fly to Kamloops, and you have to talk to the police.
Got a cold, became hearing impaired for 4 days. Conversations between me and Jason: "What?" "What?"
Paid for parking in a parkade ($5), then heard an alarm, saw smoke, discovered a car on fire, called 911, drove out of the parkade. Drove into another parkade, were told that we didn't have to buy a ticket (hooray!), missed reading the sign that said gate closes at 12:00 am, arrived at 1:05 am to find our car locked in (boo!). Walked home 17 blocks. At least it wasn't -35C.
Query from my dear husband: "Do I have to wait for you to cook something weird for supper, or can I eat hot dogs all day?"

Do Not Drink the Water!

2006-11-16T12:54:00.000-08:00

Is that Champagne? No, it's tap water.

From today's Vancouver Sun: (I chose the font colour to match the water.)

Boil-water Advisory Issued for the Lower Mainland

Health authorities ordered a boil-water advisory today for the entire Lower Mainland, saying torrential rains have stirred up so much sediment in Greater Vancouver’s reservoirs that tap water may be unsafe to drink.

The turbidity level -- the amount of sediment in the water -- “is the worst they’ve seen, ever,” said Vancouver Health Authority spokeswoman Viviana Zanocco.

The boil-water advisory means “you should not use your tap water for consumption, for brushing your teeth or for washing fruits and vegetables,” Zanocco said.

Residents can either use bottled water for those purposes, or boil tap water for at least a minute and then let it cool completely.

The problem is that coliform and other bacteria that may be present in the reservoirs are covered with sediment particles, possibly protecting them from the chlorine that normally kills them.

Um... Jason brushed his teeth this morning with tap water, and then I washed some vegetables for his pizza at lunchtime. oops. How were we supposed to know?

I guess the gross water in our toilet was a big hint. (I didn't take a picture of that because it's quite unpleasant.)

BC has the worst water in Canada.

Another big hint was the wind that whipped the trees around all day yesterday, and turned Jason's umbrella inside-out during his walk home from school. There were sustained winds of 100 km/h.

A lot of people don't have power, some people had to evacuate their homes because of flooding, and in a West End townhouse complex, a tree fell on the roof.

BC Hydro says this was the worst storm in two years.

And Jason says he loves storms...

UPDATE: The wind whipped its way through Grande Prairie, AB (where Jason's parents got snowed in), through Okotoks, AB (where the wind toppled semi trucks on the highway), and over the Rockies (?) to Vancouver, BC.

A Letter to my City

2006-11-14T15:20:00.001-08:00

Dear Vancouver,

I have been living in you for three months now, and I have some questions for you.

First of all, where did you put the sun? Why haven't I seen it for days? Do you really like the colour grey so much that you cover the sky with it on a daily basis?

Why do your citizens walk so slowly? And why is grocery shopping a family affair with Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Kids, Stroller, and Cart? This doesn't seem very efficient at all.

Why can't I ever turn left? An advanced green arrow here and there wouldn't hurt. Or do you just like Zoolander so much that you think if supermodel Derek Zoolander can't turn left, then no one should be able to?

Why are annoying, untrained dogs allowed in stores? Especially that one with its self-centered owner and her Sugar Daddy. Were they Americans? Speaking of Americans, can you please inform all drivers crossing the border that it is mandatory to use signal lights because Canadians cannot read Americans' minds. (Obviously, because they voted for that President not once, but twice!)

Why do you have a Starbucks on every single block, and sometimes two on the same block? Are you drugging your citizens into quiet submission, so that when an Alien Spaceship lands with that Mermaid plastered on the side, we won't be scared, we'll just stand in line to get an Espresso Enema? And it's not even good espresso.

Now, I must commend you on the beautiful plants and trees that are still green, and flowers that are still blooming. I also appreciate the relationship you have with The Ocean. She certainly is your "Better Half." She's like Brittney Spears, and you're like K-Fed, so don't mess it up like he did. However, I believe you are not a talentless city, and there is hope for you two to live together happily for many years. That is, until you make her mad, and she goes all Tsunami on your ass.

Thank-you for considering my questions. I would like some answers at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,
Bonnie M.
(Somewhat displaced and disgruntled... but only somewhat.)

Spreken zie deutsch?

2006-11-03T19:59:00.001-08:00

Even if the answer is "Nein," you'll still enjoy this site full of practical solutions and reinventions.

Yes, that's a kitchen sponge. Brilliant!

Number 06 puzzled me, so I used the Google translator:
"Fly gossips at Velohelm screw. Helmet put on. Never swallow more insects."

Oh, for motorcycling! Now I know what to make Bud and Blake and Sono for Christmas presents! (Weihnachtsgeschenke)
Whoa, that was lame -- referring to riding a motorbike as 'motorcycling.' (Motorradfahren)

I don't know which reinvention is my favourite. I certainly laughed the most at Number 19.

I really like German. I like saying German words because it brings out an assertive side of me.

Nicht auf mir sitzen!

Maybe I shouldn't learn German from Rammstein.

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T09:27:00.000-08:00

"The period between 1880 and World War I was the great era of the picture postcard. Inexpensive postal rates and high-quality, high-speed printing methods encouraged the growth of this craze, which swept the world and brought countless thousands of postcards into existence."

"Holidays were a favorite time to send postcards, and as Halloween was second only to Christmas as a card sending occasion, Halloween themed cards abounded. The imagery of these cards was varied, appealing, and dramatic, using the familiar imagery of Halloween -- pumpkins, ghosts, witches, and black cats -- but the mood was generally light-hearted rather than frightening."
-- Laughing Elephant Publishing

Whitney Music Box

2006-10-29T12:05:00.000-08:00

This is fun to play with:
Whitney Music Box -- a musical realization of the motion graphics of John Whitney as described in his book "Digital Harmony."

My favourite variation is var. 17 - hand cranked. It's pentatonic.

[Pentatonic means 'five tones.' The five black keys on a piano. On another instrument, you could play G-A-B-D-E. Sounds 'oriental.']

Var. 6 - microtones sounds like ghosts. ooooooooooooooooooo

I played with that site for about 10 minutes, and I was doing an experiment to see when Jason would complain about the noise. He never did. That man has the ability to turn his ears off.

Paper Bones

2006-10-27T14:01:00.000-07:00

Halloween obituary

2006-10-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

Halloween is coming up. I always thought it was kind of fun, in a take-it-or-leave-it sort of way. It was always difficult to come up with an original costume, and it was always so cold that you had to wear your winter coat over the costume, anyway. My friend Michelle always insisted we dress up and go trick-or-treating even though we all knew we were too old, but really, are you ever too old for free candy? I think the year Sheri-Lyn dressed up as a pregnant nun was our final year, as it should have been.

The freakiest costume I have ever seen was at University about 6 years ago. A man wore a gas mask, a pink baby doll dress, rubber boots, rubber gloves, and he carried a brief case. That was the perfect outfit for carrying out some twisted kind of murder, and he gave me the heebie-jeebies (if that's how you spell it) or, as my FIL would say, "queered me out."

My brother had his "obituary" on his blog, so I thought I would try it out, too:

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

My brother's obituary says he'll be terribly missed by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which is certainly true. He developed quite a relationship with Leonardo, Raphael, Splinter, Michelangelo, and ... the rest of them. He made himself a bo staff, throwing stars, and a grappling hook, the latter of which had some head trauma consequences, but I think we kept that a secret from our mom.

I Eat Food Daily

2006-10-23T22:09:00.000-07:00

The Best French Toast Ever (found on AllRecipes.com, the best recipe site ever)

6 thick slices bread
2 eggs
2/3 cup milk
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
salt to taste

Uh... not much to report here, hence the French Toast recipe. It's so good that it tastes like an EVENT.

I made my first successful omelet today, by following these instructions.

Today, I saw orange cauliflower, and purple cauliflower in my neighbourhood market. No pictures, sorry. There's no excuse for that.

I also saw eggnog next to the milk today. I don't know about you, but whenever I think of the end of October, I think about pumpkins, leaves, Halloween costumes, mini chocolate bars, horror movies, and of course, eggnog! [Sesame Street song: "One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn't belong."]

BONAVENTURE

2006-10-16T22:54:00.001-07:00

Look at what I found today:
Can you read the name of the building? If they added a "D," I would move in, or at least my blog would move in.

This apartment building is near the hotel where Jason's parents are staying. Their hotel room is about the size of our apartment.

Here, Kitty, Kitty...

2006-10-14T19:08:00.000-07:00

Does anyone have $5 950 US to give to me & Jason as a 7-Year Anniversary present?

(It would be belated, but we would forgive you,
that's just the kind of people we are.)

What would we buy with SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS?

Why, a hypo-allergenic kitty, of course!

Maybe y'all can pool your resources. Work it out in the Comments.

Vancouver is Skunky

2006-10-01T13:27:00.001-07:00

Last night, around midnight, a skunk was run over in front of our apartment. I wonder if people were roused from their sleep by that terrible smell. There is nothing (that I know of) on this earth that smells worse than a skunk. The smell lingered all night, and no amount of Apple Ginger scented candles could cover the stench.

The black and white carcass laid just in front of the stop line at our busy intersection. Most people were able to swerve to miss it, but some people ran right over it! Maybe they thought it wouldn't hurt because it was already dead, but that smell has to transfer onto tires, doesn't it? Some people had to stop at a red light right next to a dead skunk. Other people slowed down as they drove past so they could get a better look. A boy bent over and posed beside it, holding his nose, while his friend took a picture.

There was a city truck that drove by it a couple of times. The first time Jason saw the truck with flashing lights, he assumed it was here to collect the carcass, but no. I saw the truck later, and also thought the problem was about to be removed, but no. Then a city water truck came around, sprayed it with water and kept driving. That was funny. Have you ever seen roadkill getting a shower?

All the while, the smell evolved into a combination of stinky skunk and burnt rubber. We went to bed, and the excitement continued. I heard a man on the street say "skunk" just as I was drifting off to sleep. That night, we slept with candles burning unattended, but we really had no choice. When I woke up, the smell was still in the air, but the street was bare. No flat skunk there anymore.

I must admit, however, that in one particular way, Edmonton was more skunky than Vancouver. Once, I smelled "skunk" as early as 11:00 on a Monday morning.

Tomato doesn't like his job workin' for the city, but it pays well.

Sisterly Wisdom

2006-09-27T18:06:00.001-07:00

My little sister called me today to give me some ideas for her birthday. She'll be 10 in a week. We talked about living in a small town compared to living in a huge metropolis. I said that the good thing about living in a small town is that you don't have to pay for parking, but the bad thing is that you can't get everything you want (meaning purple sweet potatoes and pretty origami paper).

To that, she promptly replied, "You don't need everything you want because you get lazy, poor, and fat!"

How true. I thought that I was supposed to be the sister who passed on wisdom.

Winning Draws is for Winners

2006-09-17T18:30:00.000-07:00

What could be better than 4 miniature slices of bread?

Why, 4 miniature slices of bread smothered in Nutella, of course!

What to do with dried-out miniature bread?

Fry it up as a grilled cheese:Cheddar & Ham for Jason; Mozzarella, Tomato, & Basil for me.

None for you, Evil Kitty!

Bad Kitty!

Now to explain the title of this post, "Winning Draws is for Winners."
My mom sent me a big ol' box o' baking on Tuesday, and after spending the night in the Vancouver post office, I picked it up on Friday. (And no, I was not able to pick up the parcel for my husband without his written authorization even though we have the same address and share the same last name.) The box contained my favourite chocolate chip cookies, ginger snaps, brownies, and two miniature loaves of bread. The bread was so cute that I had to take pictures of it! Food is more fun if it is GIANT or miniature.

When I called my mom to say thank-you, she told me that my sister, Jocalyn (age 9), won a miniature loaf pan in a draw. Jocalyn has a long history of winning draws. She has won a backpack, and a GIANT teddy bear. I'm not sure if she is particularly lucky, or if there is just such a high chance of winning in her very small town of Fairview, AB. She also wins coloring contests on a fairly regular basis, but that has to do with skill, not luck. All of my siblings have mad coloring skillz.

The miniature loaf pan made me think of the things other people have won in draws. The most outstanding prize in the circle of my acquaintances has to be when Jason (age 11) won a draw for a purebred Arabian which was a descendant of a famous racehorse. Yep, he won a horse! I shouldn't tell my sister that -- she'll probably get jealous.

Also, I won a door prize at a chamber music concert that I bribed Jason to attend with me. It was Piazolla's "Tango Nuevo" for accordion and strings, and I told him it would be like the music from 12Monkeys. It turns out I was telling the truth. The person who composed the soundtrack for 12 Monkeys borrowed extensively from Piazolla. (By the way, Piazolla learned classical composition from Ginastera, the man I have been obsessed about for the past 2 years.) Anyway, back to the door prize. We both filled out a form to put in a box at intermission, and Jason actually put his own information down instead of mine. After intermission, there was a brief speech, then the first violinist drew a name, and it was mine, and then the cellist drew a name, and it was Jason's. Whisperings of conspiracy floated around the concert hall. We could not leave Con Hall that evening without people commenting on the "fix," or the "grand scheme." We each won a $25 gift certificate for The Gramophone. (And no, I was not able to collect the prize on my husband's behalf: he had to walk up to the stage and get it himself.)

What have you won in a draw? Publish a comment and your name will be entered in a draw.

Robust Nectarine

2006-09-13T15:36:00.000-07:00

NECTARINE, Evil Kitty (9 cm tall), Grapefruit

Today I went to a quaint fresh fruit & veg market by Burt's house. After eating a cucumber from Safeway that tasted like cardboard, I have made a commitment to go to the market where the fruit is large and colorful, and the prices are low. I bought a huge bag of colored peppers for $1.49. They have fresh herbs, too! Included with every purchase: FREE fruit flies! When I saw a stack of giant nectarines, I just had to buy one. Here she is:

She's bursting out of her skin! She is so full of juiciness.

Now, I'm sure a lot of you are wondering why I am not a hand model. Sadly, like for most things, my hands are overqualified.

The bowl is overflowing!

Does anyone know how to store fresh basil? I think I've got to wrap it in damp paper towel like Baby Jesus. You have no idea how good my pizza is going to taste tonight.

I love teaching

2006-09-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

Connor, a 7 year old beginner piano student, made my day today by asking:

"Hey, is that the terrible clef?"

Completely Finished My Degree!

2006-09-06T18:45:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, September 5, at approximately 6:00 am, I completed the final requirement of my Master of Music degree. The final requirement was Ethics Training which should have taken me 8 hours to do, but ended up taking me 15 hours. This was the first year grad students at the U of A had to do this training, and I got to be one of the guinea pigs. I know I'm not retarded, so why did it take me so long? Maybe it is because I took time to research and consider the questions. Perhaps it is because I don't have the ability to hand-in half-assed assignments. Anyway, after pulling an all-nighter, which is my usual modus operandi,* I successfully jumped through the final hoop.

I read Steven Colbert's 2006 Commencement Address and drank a glass of wine to celebrate.

You must now call me "Master Bonnie" Wait a minute, that's not right. Call me "Mistress Bonnie" Uh... that's not right, either.

Convocation is November 22, 2006 and I hope my money and work situation will allow me to walk across that stage wearing that fun cape and stylish hat.

Please do not go out of your way to send me lavish gifts and accolades.**
Or you can, if you want to.

:)

* All of the Latin I know, I learned from TV.
** Did you know that besides being an expression of praise, an accolade is a brace or a line used in music to join two or more staves carrying simultaneous parts? How fitting!

Unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy.

2006-08-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

Missy came to visit us and she brought me flowers and peach jam, and she took me surfing in Tofino! She gave me a much-needed escape. We had all sorts of fun. We went to a wine and cheese party on the beach with some of her PRBI friends. I was shocked to find that people from Vancouver moved to Sexmith (Northern Alberta) to go to Bible college! Those people were fun. The sun had already set by the time we got to the party, so I will not be able to recognize anybody from that night if I ever run into them in Vancouver. I might recognize their voices. The wine Missy brought was the best: a Spanish red wine by Borsao, Campo de Borja. It was like tasting a five act play. Hopefully she'll get to have some someday. We also visited a wonderful couple in Victoria. We made pizza together. The ferry ride to Victoria was beautiful. Did you know that there are giant octopi in those waters? They can get up to 600 lbs! They can be the size of 16 grown men! They change color when they're angry.

The road to Tofino is so curvy that I got a little motion sick near the end of it. Four to five hours of the twisties. We weren't able to get a camping spot or a hotel, so we slept in the car. The next morning, I got to use a public washroom in the park that had a stainless steel toilet seat. That will wake a person up in the morning! We went to Surf Sister and they took us out to a private beach for our surfing lesson. I wondered how many people had peed in my wetsuit. Hopefully none.

Surfing was so much fun! I had never been in the waves of the ocean before. A person needs a lot of upper body strength to surf because you have to push yourself up with your arms to get standing. My arms are skinny. I thought I would be better at surfing than I was, but I still had fun. I will try it again. Jason and I are planning to go for our 8th anniversary next summer. We'll do push-ups for 6 months before, and make reservations to camp, and reservations for the ferry, and bring Gravol. Also, we'll take lessons from Pacific Surf School because they let you use the equipment all day after the lesson. Tofino is now experiencing a water shortage, and restaurants have to close for the long weekend.

For our anniversary on Monday, we went to Milestones on Denman, which overlooks English Bay. We watched the sun set over the water. It was beautiful, pink and orange. We went to see Little Miss Sunshine, a movie we had been wanting to see for a while. (You're terrible, Muriel.) A dysfunctional family takes a long road trip in an old VW. That's an "adventure" we can relate to, unfortunately. The movie was very funny. It reminded me of the dry, awkward, uncomfortable British humour like The Office and Little Britain a little bit. I was giggling quietly at the beginning of the movie because no one in the theatre was laughing. I wanted to yell, "You can laugh, it's funny!" They caught on, eventually.

Last night we went to Granville Island so Jason could by animation supplies for school. I ate at "Indian Comfort Food." I like all of the words in that title. It was so good. Jason's first homework assignment is to bake a cube of Super Sculpty in our oven. Today he learned how to log on and create a new folder on a network (a little elementary for the advanced ninja webmaster that he is). I imagine he will be challenged soon. Yesterday he drew for six hours!

Well, the hunt for piano students and a job continues fruitlessly. I wish I knew how I'll be earning a living here. Hopefully I'll get more calls once school starts.

Friends in Vancouver

2006-08-19T15:19:00.000-07:00

Friday night we went to see Snakes on a Plane with Burt and his Chinese gang. It was a good bad movie. Now I have the Cobra Starship (WARNING: Coarse language and general cheesiness) song in my head. Maybe I should dye my hair blond (again).

Saturday we were invited to a BBQ at Kelly and Kim's place. We had a great time talking about TV and movies. Kelly is attending Vancouver Film School and is going to be a director. No small feat. She challenges me to rethink some of my assumptions about how my life will unfold.

My former piano teacher, Willa Meyers, was in town to babysit for her daughter, Chloe Meyers and her husband, Alexander Weimann while they played concerts in Festival Vancouver. I attended on of their concerts, Bach's German Influences, which was for two violins and continuo. Alex's harpsichord solo, the Krieger Passacaglia in D minor, was thrilling! Does anyone fancy a double trill? How about a killer virtuoso left hand passage echoed by the right hand? Biber's Sonata ("Representativa") in A Major was a humorous, virtuosic piece. Most of the movements imitated bird song. The finale, the Goldberg Sonata in C Major, was drop-dead gorgeous. It was one of those moments where the world disappears, and all that remains is beauty and enchantment.

We all entered to win the door prize at intermission which was "a CD." Just before the draw, the festival director announced that the prize would be Alex's most recent CD. Gord Meyers won. Yes, Alex's father-in-law won the CD! Willa passed it on to me, so now I'm the winner.

Everyone went out to the campus pub after the concert. Chloe provided me with a different point of view on teaching in students' homes. She made lasting emotional bonds with the families of her students by being invited into their homes and being a regular part of family life. I had never thought of it that way; I had only seen the negative aspect of being stuck in traffic and wasting time. (I'm a pessimistic optimist.) Now that I don't have a piano at home, I will have to be a traveling teacher, which is apparently huge here in Vancouver. There is also a nice piano studio I can rent for one day a week if I get enough students.

Missy is coming for a visit this week! That is a fantastic incentive for me to unpack more boxes.

P.S. Phone and email are working now.

A good place to die

2006-08-13T15:43:00.001-07:00

We had to leave our car in Kamloops to get repaired after it overheated. It was ready to be picked up on Thursday, so we tossed a coin to see who would take the bus to Kamloops. I lost the toss. Twice.

After a long bus ride, I arrived in Kamloops on Friday afternoon. I walked to the shop, which was much farther than it looked on the map, but at least it was all downhill. I got there around 4:40, and Axel took me on a test drive to show me what our "new" 116,000k engine could do. I was impressed. I paid the (huge) bill and drove away. I realized that the radio wasn't working properly, neither was the speedometer or the air conditioning. I took the car back to the shop, but it was 5:15 on a Friday, so the place was deserted. I decided to spend the night in Kamloops because I thought there might be something wrong with the battery or the alternator. The car died in the hotel parking lot (a good place to die).

Saturday morning, Axel looked under the hood and discovered that the alternator had not been hooked up to the battery! He said, "Now that is where the dog was buried." (A German phrase?) That little mistake cost me a night in a hotel and a lot of stress! On the way back home from Kamloops, old problems with the car resurfaced around Hope. We hoped that replacing the engine and distributor would fix that.

The movers wrecked our couch. The legs cannot be attached and it is very dirty. They also scratched the hell out of our hardwood TV stand. We are missing three shelves, one table leg, and a hamper full of some of our favourite clothes. Basically, we paid the moving company a lot of money to lie to us and wreck our stuff.

At least our kitchen has a dishwasher.

Someday I would like to explore the Othello Tunnels near Hope with my husband.

I stepped on my glasses

2006-08-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

"Trampled glasses" can be added to the list of things that went wrong/expensive things that broke. One arm got drastically bent. When I took the glasses in to get fixed, the "technician" bent the good arm to match the bad arm! They were later adjusted, but they're wonky now.

We went to Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby last night, and I had a great time. It was very funny movie. It kept me entertained for the entire 105 minutes. No thinking required. Gary Cole was hilarious as Ricky Bobby's dad.

I read an interesting article on Cognitive Daily this morning. There are two audio clips of Ave Maria to listen to. In the second clip, I thought a contemporary composer decided to play around with the familiar melody, and the new harmonies reminded me of Satie's Gymnopedies. I kind of liked it.

Here's something really creepy. Jason thought he was reading a comic book when he read that article (of course, everything you read on the internet is true). If a spontaneously formed neural network of cultured rat neurons were to compose, would the music be bitonal?

Grizzly and Benson

2006-08-03T17:17:00.001-07:00

My dad has an American Eskimo dog named Grizzly. No, grizzly bears aren't white, but that's the name of the dog. He's a good dog... for the most part. We had a fight once, so I completely ignored him for a few days, and then he pooped on my bed. I guess he thought that would get my attention.

Now my dad is taking care of his one-year-old stepgrandson, Benson. Grizzly helps. He sleeps under Benson's crib, and checks on him by standing on his hind legs and walking around the crib. Dad didn't need to buy a baby monitor because Grizzly notifies everyone when Benson wakes up. If Dad & Dolores are outside during Benson's afternoon nap, Grizzly will scratch at the patio door once Benson is awake.

Benson is sure cute! He is so fast! He runs around like a little speed demon. He has a cute, crooked eyebrow & he doesn't cry unless something is really wrong. He's a tough kid. He's teething right now, and I saw him touch his cheek and tears welled up in his eyes, but he didn't cry. I am lucky to have two little nephews who are about a month apart in age. They're both cuties! Too bad I moved so far away from them. I'll have to collect air miles like mad!

Benson

Noah

I Hate Moving!

2006-08-03T11:31:00.001-07:00

Everyone knows that moving is a stressful event. Our move sucked. I'm sorry to use the vernacular, but it totally sucked!

Things that went WRONG:

When the movers showed up, they had a totally different contract than the one we had previously agreed upon. I had to fight tooth and nail to get the original agreement. Both the manager of the company and the driver are mad at me.
We cleaned the apartment from top to bottom like we were "required" to do. Apparently, no one cleans their apartment when they vacate, so we did all of that work for nothing. Terrace Towers has a cleaning lady to do that.
Our car overheated badly. (So there, Mark.) We had to spend the night in Kamloops and leave the car at the repair shop there. We had to rent a car to get to Vancouver with all of our stuff.
Shaw hooked up our phone, but they weren't able to actually get it working. We have to make all of our long-distance calls on our cell phones instead of having unlimited long distance on our land line.
Movers should be here today, but I think it's unlikely that they will be on time. They have had 21 complaints through the Better Business Bureau in the past 36 months.

Things that were good:

Axel (Kamloops VW repair shop) is quite the character. He really cheered us up. He was very helpful and he's going to fix our car using used parts to keep the cost down. We need a new engine and catalytic converter (expensive!).
We got a deal on the car rental, so it cost us less than two Greyhound bus tickets.
Our building manager is sympathetic and helpful. She reminds me of my Auntie Bev, so I like her a lot.
We watched fireworks over English Bay last night. The Czech Republic's fireworks display was choreographed to jazz. (Nice.) Mexico will have their show on Saturday. It's an international fireworks competition right in our new backyard!

I would have liked to post a picture of the sun setting on the beach, but, like most of our stuff, the memory stick adapter is packed away in some box in the mover's truck. Jason took some beautiful pictures.

I guess our building manager summed it up best when she said, "It's terrible that happened, but you're moving to paradise."

Kent Balancing

2006-07-19T13:34:00.000-07:00

Kent balancing
We went to Vancouver a couple of weeks ago to find an apartment. We found one that is a block away from Vancouver Film School, and a block away from the beach. It is quite a bit smaller than our current apartment, so we'll be going through the painful process of downsizing.

We walked along the seawall in Stanley Park and saw this man balancing stones. He doesn't use anything but gravity to hold his sculptures together. It was amazing to watch. I didn't believe he would be able to balance the stones, but I saw it with my own eyes. It was a bit of wonder and magic. I think this is how he makes his living. He sells cards that are photos of his work with the sun setting behind it.

There is much to experience in Vancouver. We're looking forward to sitting on the beach.

Happy Second Day of Summer!

2006-06-22T13:24:00.000-07:00

Summer is here!
Time for BBQ
and sandals
and allergies!

Canada vs. Northern Ireland

2006-06-06T16:33:00.000-07:00

We've been back home since Saturday evening, and I'm slowly adjusting to the time change. Sunday night I fell asleep at 7:00, and last night I was able to stay awake until 9:00, so hopefully tonight I'll see 11:00. Jet lag makes me very grumpy. Poor Jason. We had a discussion about it last night, and we figured out that the way I act when I'm jet lagged is the way he acts normally. Now he knows what it's like to live with himself! ; )

I can't help but compare the two countries -- it's human nature -- so here is what each country does better than the other.

Northern Ireland

Castles!!!
Hedged fields
Giant Kleenex
Cheese has more flavour when it is not pasteurized
Mint Chocolate Baileys!!!
Chicken breasts are individually wrapped
All buses in Belfast go to City Hall, so you can catch any bus to go home
Wall outlets have an on/off switch
Abundance of Austin Minis

Canada

Pedestrians have the right of way!
The Canadian dollar (everything is cheaper here)
Brewed coffee (they drink instant over there)
Chip flavours (I prefer Salt & Vinegar over Lamb & Mint)
Stores remain open through the evening (Consume at your leisure!)
Maps and signs
Wide roads
Multiculturalism
Sunshine

I'm glad to be home.

Around Belfast: Wednesday

2006-05-31T14:38:00.000-07:00

Today we went on a tour of Belfast City Hall. The original city hall was bombed by Germany in the blitz. They were aiming for the shipyard and the airplane factory, but they dropped a bomb a little too soon and hit city hall. This painting of one of the Lord Mayors is the only thing that survived.
At the onset of the war, someone had the foresight to remove the stained-glass windows, so the original windows are now in the new building.

Jason saw a document on display that his ancestors signed (The Ulster Covenant).

We went to McHugh's for some pub grub. (Hooray! We finally made it to a pub & we were not disappointed!) It's the oldest building in Belfast. The pub was established in 1711. The food & service were really good. I had lamb stew (very Irish), and Corona (not so Irish, but very good).
This fish is pretty neat. Each tile has a newspaper clipping or picture on it. The fish's eyes have views of the city in them. It's so much more interesting in person.

Around Belfast: Tuesday

2006-05-31T14:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we visited the parliament building (Stormont). We walked up the hill, which doesn't look far, but it really is. Nobody has been working there for 8 or 9 months because the politicians can't agree on anything.

Around Belfast: Monday

2006-05-31T13:35:00.000-07:00

On Monday we visited the Ulster Museum which had some really interesting exhibits. My favourite exhibit was Ireland at War. It showed all of the past conflicts in Ireland with relics from each. There were ancient weapons, armor, and human remains. Also artifacts from more recent disputes. Ireland has a tumultuous past. This display made us think of CSI.

There was a dinosaur skeleton there with a sign that read, "The dinosaur formerly known Anatosaurus: In recent years dinosaur experts have decided that Anatosaurus is actually the same as another dinosaur called Edmontonsaurus. The dinosaur Edmontonsaurus was named first, this name has priority. This is why our dinosaur has changed its name."
Ha Ha, we discovered it first!

Above is a picture of a motif-piece (with engraved artist's sketches) Early medieval (about AD 800). It was found in the course of archaeological excavation in 2004 at Clonfeacle, County Tyrone. Co. Tyrone is the county Jason's Granddad was born in.

They also had a fortepiano on display in an area where photographs were not allowed. It was beautiful. There was also an Egyptian mummy. And admission was free!

Twins

2006-05-31T12:42:00.000-07:00

Cute, hey?

Here the uniform for young women is sloppy jeans that make their asses look bigger than they actually are, high pony-tails, heels, and hoop earrings.

Red & white is hot here. All of the mannequins are wearing it.

Coastal Drive

2006-05-30T06:25:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, Jason and I took the rented car up north into the country and along the coast. Jason had to adjust to driving on the "wrong" side of the road. Let's just say that it's a good thing that the side view mirrors are designed to collapse without damage. They just pop back out.

On our trip, our opinion of roundabouts (traffic circles) did a 180. At first we thought that they were fantastic, because if we missed an exit, we just went around again. Convenient! Then we realized that there is a roundabout in virtually every small town and you cannot drive straight through the town, you have to go through a bothersome roundabout. There is a small sign before the roundabout that tells you which exit to take, but they are often difficult to decipher: lots of information that you need to read fast. We actually took a wrong exit on our way home, and ended up missing the coastal drive. We didn't realize we had made a wrong exit until many miles later (distance is measured in miles in North Ireland, and kilometers in the Republic of Ireland. There is also a different currency in each, and don't try to pay with the wrong money because people are quite touchy about it. "We don't take Sterling, that's English money.")

Our first stop was the Dark Hedges, which are some magical trees that grow over a country road. Even though it's not an official tourist attraction, we found it quite easily without detailed directions or signs. We were the only people there. This destination was the main reason we decided to drive rather than go on a tour bus because busses don't stop there.
Next, we went to the Bushmills Distillery. It's the oldest licensed distillery in the world (1608). We were fortunate enough to see all of the DeLoreans stopping in the parking lot on their tour of the coast. We saw about fifty of them! They are made of stainless steel and have gull-wing doors. They are quite rare. It was the time machine in "Back to the Future." I thought it was a fictional car until Sunday. Jason posted a video on YouTube. There's another video below it of the doors opening.
On the tour of Bushmills we learned the difference between different types of spirits. For Scotch, the barley mash is dried over a peat fire, hence the smoky, mossy flavour. For whiskey, the barley mash is dried over warm air, so it has a smoother flavour. Bourbon is filtered once, and matures in brand new oak barrels. Scotch is filtered twice, and whiskey is filtered three times. Whiskey matures for 5 years in oak barrels that have previously stored bourbon, sherry, and port.

We then got to sample some Bushmills. I had my first Hot Toddy, and I fell in love! Mmmm, it tastes like warm happiness.
If we had visited the distillery on a weekday, we would have been able to see people working and the entire production line.

We then drove a short way to the Giant's Causeway, which is a magical place on the coast. Cooling lava formed millions of hexagonal columns. WOW! I don't know how to describe this place in words, so I'll show you pictures. That's Jason in the middle of the frame.
We drove to Dunluce Castle next. It was a lot of fun to explore the ruins. The view of the ocean from the castle windows was breathtaking.
One stormy night, in 1639, the north wall of the kitchen court fell into the sea, taking several servants with it to their death. The duchess of the castle refused to live on the rock ever again and a new house on the mainland was built for her.

Dublin

2006-05-29T02:31:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, we all piled into a rented car and drove to Dublin. We had planned to stop at three destinations: the Guinness Storehouse, Dublin Castle, and Chester Beatty Library, which houses the world's oldest copy of the New Testament. Sounds exciting, doesn't it?

We arrived in Dublin a couple of hours later than scheduled. We went to the Guinness Storehouse first, which was quite a lot of fun. Their displays were very large and interactive. Troy's daughters had a lot of fun playing in the barley... just as I did when I was growing up, playing in granaries. The best part of the eight storey exhibit was an old movie of a man making oak barrels by hand. He stuck slats of wood together, never measuring, which were held together by two metal rings. The wood was then steamed so it would be pliable. He then bent the wood and put the final ring on. The lid was also handmade and this is the first time he would measure anything. After he was finished the barrel, he looked down at it with a blank expression. The narrator of the film said something like, "The pride on the barrel-maker's face is well-deserved, and you can see the amount of satisfaction he gets from his craft." I love dry, sarcastic humour! The barrel factory would produce 10,000 handmade barrels per week! Handmade!

Did you know that hops only grow in two regions in the world in the temperate climate by the equator?

We got some interesting pictures from the Guinness storehouse and we'll put them on Flickr sometime.

After we had our "complimentary" pints of Guinness and meandered through the very busy gift shop, it was 4:30. We did not have time to go anywhere else. Stores and attractions here close between 5:00 and 6:00. Not much is open in the evenings -- I guess everyone goes out for a pint after a "long" day of work.

We spent some time downtown, which was very busy. Dublin had a lot more tourists. The streets were more tourist-friendly than in Belfast.

There were grotesque sculptures of rabbits and other animals on the street.

Yes, that's a rabbit.

(Not a great picture... it was taken from the backseat of the car.)

We ate supper at a 50's diner called Eddie Rocket's. Whoever invented the ice cream float was a genius! The diner was fun... not really Irish, though. Here's something embarrassing: Jason and I haven't been to a pub yet. We hope to remedy that soon!

Itsy Bitsy Spider

2006-05-26T17:18:00.000-07:00

Spiders here are slightly larger than in Alberta... now I know why they have giant Kleenex!

I'm trying to find a happy medium between my "fight and flight" response. That lamp is right above my bed.

After all of my "eep"-ing, Jason "grew some balls" and corralled the spider. I didn't think I was scared of spiders, but the sound it made on the paper lantern freaked me out. It's a heavy one. Jason set it free on the front lawn by tossing it into the night. I swear it unfolded its wings and flew back to hell.

Cave Hill

2006-05-26T14:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went to Belfast Castle and hiked up Cave Hill. Belfast Castle was a disappointment for our first castle (not ancient enough), but the garden was pristine. The castle will always have good luck as long as it has a white cat. I love this stone sculpture of a cat sunning itself in the tulips. I have a feeling my Auntie Sharon will like it a lot, too.

This is the view from inside one of the caves on Cave Hill. Jason climbed up into it. People hid here when Germany bombed Belfast in WWII. The Castle has pictures of ladies and gents in their fancy dress sitting here. Can you imagine hiking up a hill in a skirt and boots?

Below is McArt's Fort. About three quarters of the way up, I decided not to attack the fort because I was tired. Let them have their hill. We pushed ahead and enjoyed the spectacular view. I was awestruck by the beauty of the green everything, and the fact that I was in N. Ireland. I love hiking with my husband. It's one of my favourite things. I missed Blake and his ruby red boots a wee bit. (He took us hiking on Berg Lake trail.) Jason has been uploading photos to Flickr. The internet is noticeably slower here, so he's getting an exercise in patience. Check out the photos there if you want to see more.

Mucho Minis: Awesome Austins

2006-05-24T12:17:00.000-07:00

The Austin Mini is a popular car in Belfast! We saw so many on our walk to the market yesterday. (It was a long walk because we took a wrong turn and ended up making three left turns, forming a large square.) This one has to be the coolest, though. Most of the cars here are really nice, really fast, and really expensive. Also, there really isn't any room on the roads for parking, so people park on the sidewalk anywhere, and in any direction, they can fit.
Troy's rental car had it's hubcaps tie-wrapped on. A lot of cars around here are missing hubcaps, probably from driving up curbs to park. I guess there aren't parking tickets here. Must be nice.

Pedestrians do not have the right of way, and the sidewalks are narrow. It's not exactly a pedestrian-friendly city. I am hyper-aware as I walk. I can't meander along in a daydream like I do in Edmonton. However, I still enjoy exploring the area on foot. We found a post office today, so we have the means of mailing postcards. Only 50p per stamp... Everything is so expensive here! Except for booze, that's slightly cheaper. I bought a bottle of wine yesterday for 3.99 pounds. That's about $8. It was good, too. And you can drink in most public places. I saw this demonstrated today when I saw a man vomiting on the side of an ancient church while his mate continued to imbibe.
; p

Products for Men Only

2006-05-23T16:47:00.000-07:00

There seems to be a market here in Ireland for products that are made especially for men who need to be reassured of their masculinity. These products give them membership to an elite, all man, club. Is Feminism so strong that Patriarchy has to fight back? Should we replace the word "feminism" with "equalism"? This marketing is all done with a sense of humour, and I love it!

The back of the Yorkie chocolate bar says, "Please do NOT feed the birds!" (Haha.)

I love how the woman in the red circle looks annoyed with her arm on her hip, the other arm holding her little purse. I imagine she's mad at her boyfriend for not sharing his chocolate bar with her, and he's saying, "Look, I would share with you if I could, but the label clearly states that it's not for girls. My hands are tied."

No, Jason did not share with me. He said it tasted like the cheap milk chocolate that Easter bunnies are made of. I didn't miss out on much.

Each tissue is 30x27cm. They're HUGE!

The "poem" on the back of the "for men" Kleenex box:
Strong, Soft, Sorted.
We know tissues,
You know when something works.
Ticks all the boxes, takes a big sneeze,
Soaks all those spills, and is still kind on you.
Stronger than before, soft as always.
One thing you can always rely on.

Sounds like a good buddy.

However, there are countless products on the market that aim to make women feel more feminine. I shouldn't be surprised that there is an similar trend for men... But Kleenexes and chocolate bars!? Aren't these unisex products? At the end of the day, it's all about equality between men and women, but also diversity. We really are different creatures, so why not do some targeted marketing?

Jet Lag

2006-05-22T17:28:00.000-07:00

We left Edmonton at 2:00 pm and arrived in Belfast at about 2:00 pm. There's a 7 hour difference, so we were traveling for 24-7 hours = 17 hours. Everything went smoothly. Some of the flight attendants were grumpy, but that's not much to complain about. All of our in-flight drinks across the ocean were free! Jason was really excited about his little rum bottle.

Here are some (un)interesting observations:

Security is tightest in Edmonton. They did not think it was funny at all that Jason had toothpaste on his shirt. (He also might not find it amusing that I have posted this detail.)
The Edmonton airport has a grand piano as well as a Hello Kitty store. I like it there.
If you go now, you can eat shrimp off of a paper plate in Montana's in the Calgary airport.
The people working in the London airport all seem to have a sense of humor (oops, I mean "humour"), which is incredibly welcome after flying across the world.
Ireland looks absolutely, breathtakingly gorgeous from the plane.
The temperature in Edmonton last week was higher than in Honolulu! It's going to frost tonight in Ireland. Today's high was 12C.

Jet lag is a strange thing to experience. See Jason:

Spelling

2006-05-19T13:58:00.000-07:00

Check it out! The blogger.com Spell Checker doesn't have the word "blogger" in its dictionary!

Preparation

2006-05-19T13:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I finished my masters degree. Tomorrow I fly to Ireland.

Wow.

We're in for a LONG day of traveling. Apparently it takes some time to fly halfway around the world. I have two Stuart McLean books to read on the plane, which should make time fly. (My first pun on blogger!)

I plan on posting a travel journal and pictures of our trip to Ireland. Get ready, here it comes!